The God who stays.
The other night as I was driving home I heard a song come on the radio by Matthew West I had never heard before. The lyrics struck me so deeply and I was overcome with emotion.
'You're the God who stays, You're the one who runs in my direction.'
My mind was instantly filled with seasons in my life that were really hard and I just started thanking God for staying. For running in my direction when I was 18 and the boy I loved and thought I would marry broke up with me. On my birthday. The heartbreak I went through, depression, pain, not wanting to eat. God never left me, He only pursued me.
During my miscarriage, the deep sadness and loneliness it brought. Grieving the loss of a child I would never get to hold in my arms here on this earth. It was a dark time for me.
The nights I used to cry myself to sleep - because we were struggling so bad financially, I didn't know how we would be able to pay the bills, fill our tank with gas or buy groceries. When I lost my daycare, when we had a car repossessed and lost our home and filed bankruptcy.
When I had sepsis a few years ago, and was in the ICU and doctors told my family, "It doesn't look good." They didn't know if I was going to make it and I had a husband and 5 kids waiting for me at home.
When an old 'friend' and employer threatened to sue my husband and steal our livelihood.
Childhood memories that are painful. Friendships that suddenly end. Relationships you wish were different - but you can't control.
Losing my father in law. A man who has loved me like his own daughter, a man who spoke life into me and believed the best of me from the moment I met him.
We all have our stories. Our pain. Our grief. Some harder than others. But through it all, one thing has always remained the same.
God.
He always stays. He's always there. He's always running in my direction, I simply have to let Him love me and run into His arms and ask Him to carry me through. He always did, He always has and He always will. Because I'm His daughter and His love for me is so much greater than I could even begin to imagine.
I reflect on all of this and think about how faithful God has been to me.
He brought me the man of my dreams. He has given me six children, and one more on the way. He has brought several new businesses for both my husband and I that are thriving. I'm completely healthy and sepsis had no lasting effects on me. He's brought new friends.
Knowing Jesus doesn't mean we are promised a life of no pain, loss or heartache. It means we know a God who loves us so deeply, that whatever life may bring, we have hope He will carry us through. What a beautiful thing it is to know Jesus.
'You're the God who stays, You're the one who runs in my direction.'
My mind was instantly filled with seasons in my life that were really hard and I just started thanking God for staying. For running in my direction when I was 18 and the boy I loved and thought I would marry broke up with me. On my birthday. The heartbreak I went through, depression, pain, not wanting to eat. God never left me, He only pursued me.
During my miscarriage, the deep sadness and loneliness it brought. Grieving the loss of a child I would never get to hold in my arms here on this earth. It was a dark time for me.
The nights I used to cry myself to sleep - because we were struggling so bad financially, I didn't know how we would be able to pay the bills, fill our tank with gas or buy groceries. When I lost my daycare, when we had a car repossessed and lost our home and filed bankruptcy.
When I had sepsis a few years ago, and was in the ICU and doctors told my family, "It doesn't look good." They didn't know if I was going to make it and I had a husband and 5 kids waiting for me at home.
When an old 'friend' and employer threatened to sue my husband and steal our livelihood.
Childhood memories that are painful. Friendships that suddenly end. Relationships you wish were different - but you can't control.
Losing my father in law. A man who has loved me like his own daughter, a man who spoke life into me and believed the best of me from the moment I met him.
We all have our stories. Our pain. Our grief. Some harder than others. But through it all, one thing has always remained the same.
God.
He always stays. He's always there. He's always running in my direction, I simply have to let Him love me and run into His arms and ask Him to carry me through. He always did, He always has and He always will. Because I'm His daughter and His love for me is so much greater than I could even begin to imagine.
I reflect on all of this and think about how faithful God has been to me.
He brought me the man of my dreams. He has given me six children, and one more on the way. He has brought several new businesses for both my husband and I that are thriving. I'm completely healthy and sepsis had no lasting effects on me. He's brought new friends.
Knowing Jesus doesn't mean we are promised a life of no pain, loss or heartache. It means we know a God who loves us so deeply, that whatever life may bring, we have hope He will carry us through. What a beautiful thing it is to know Jesus.
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